Chevy Chase vs Harry Potter

“Have you seen European vacation, you know the movie, with Chevy Chase?”
“No.”
“Well, anyway, there’s a scene in it when they’re in England going round and round on a roundabout and it’s hilarious. That happened to us one day while we were there. We were laughing about it and we even said Big Ben Parliament like ten times.”
“Oh. Didn’t you see any castles? I hear there are a ton of them over there.”
” Yes, we saw one, but what we enjoyed most was the Harry potter studios tour.”

– two women on the downtown 1 train

No Mo’ Stilettos

“… And they doing it cuz they want you to suffer. Why else would they do it like that? Shoe makers gotta all be men cause they make us wear those kinda shoes that make us suffer. It ain’t no accident men all be wearin comfy shoes and all us dumb bitches be falling around wearing crazy heels. I mean, I used to wear ’em so much that ruined my feet wearing’ ’em, so much that I can’t even wear shoes no more.”
– barefoot homeless woman at W4th on the B train explains her lack of footwear.