The French Paradox

“No, man, honestly, the casino in Monte Carlo was great. I walked in wearing a golf shirt and they were so happy to see me. I didn’t need to wear a suit at all.”

“Did you win any money?”

“No, I played a little black jack and lost like forty bucks and that kinda bummed me out so I left, but the croupier wanted me to keep playing. He kept calling me ‘monshure’ like I was some kind of high roller.”

“So, what else did you do in France?”

“We’ll, I had to go into a McDonalds, ya know, just to see what it was like. And let me tell you, the ones there aren’t nothing compared to ours. Our burgers are so much better, and you know what? Our French fries are better too! Can you imagine that?”

– two men on Jersey transit Trenton Express.

The Sign Read “homeless, hungry & pregnant”

“did you see that homeless person with the sign at the entrance?”
“yeah, I’ve seen quite a few with signs since we arrived.”
“well, it made me wonder where these hungry and homeless people are having sex. I mean can you imagine stumbling upon them while they’re at it?!”

Pair of English women on the R train

Pair of English Tourists

“You know how the guy at the ‘otel said that we ought to go to Brooklyn because it looks just like England?


“Well, I fink the only part of England that it looks like is Brixton (a neighborhood of London) wi’v all them Jamaicans.”

“Yeah, it does a bit, luv, but there’s a lot of ’em around the ‘otel too.”

“True, but ’round Penn Station don’t remind of London.”

Nah, me neivah.”