Decisions, Decisions…

Two strung-out looking women:

“Damn, I wanted to get a f—in’ buttered roll, man!”
“So why didn’t you?”
“‘Cause I only got 12 dollars in my pocket and I can’t a coffee and a buttered roll with that.”
“What? You crazy! What kind of coffee and roll costs $12?”
“Yeah, but I gotta save ten of them dollars for my dose at the clinic, yo.”
“Aw snap, I forgot about your dose. You better get that or you will be crazy.”

Morning-Breath Paul

Two women on their morning commute:

“Hey, see that tall guy over there?”

“No, which one?”

“The one with brown hair, that looks like Paul from the office.”

“You mean bad-breath Paul?”


“Oh my god, that guy stinks!”

“Wait, that is Paul from the office! Why is he on this train? Doesn’t he live in Jersey somewhere?”

“Oh crap, he’s spotted us. He’s coming over.”

“Well, let’s just hope he brushed his teeth this morning.”

Smells Like Hot Soup

“I was stood next to this guy this morning and he smelled nasty like he had just had some hot soup.”
“He was breathing on you?”
“Nah, well, I guess, but mostly he just smelled like hot soup.”
“What’s so bad about that? ‘Least it wasn’t garlic or something!”
“It’s nasty, girl! Who has hot soup for breakfast?!”

Hot & Schweaty

Two young men:

“Hey, you know when it gets real hot and the sweat drips down your back and, like, uh, uh, gets all wet in your drawers?”

“Yeah! It be like that today, yo. Hot as hell, man!”

“You ever think that happens to females too?”

“Yeah, ‘course it does, and a lot too. It get all caught up in they booty!”

“I get it. Is that why they wear those thongs in the summer, then? So it drain off quicker?”