Eviction’s a Bitch

Two women on the uptown C at Fulton Street:

“Motherf–ker was saying that he gonna evict me ’cause my kids is like a herd of elephants going up and down the stairs. That ‘aint fair at all – I can’t control how they be steppin’!”
“So what you say to him?”
“I told him ‘F–k you and your apartment.'”
“Damn, you go girl, tell that bitch n—a what’s up! Then what happened?”
“Well, we got 10 days to leave and find some place new.”

Stop Fidgeting Shonay, Part 2

Same couple as in an earlier post to their young daughter who is fidgeting in her seat.

Father: “This lil’ n—a crazy! She crazy just like you!”

Mother: “All these kids be crazy. She learning all this from the ‘hood. Shonay don’t appreciate nothing anymore. Not me, not you, not that ball she have, not no gum I bought her neither.”

Father: “Hmm. Remember wassa name? Um, you know, the one that’s dead.”

Mother: “Who? Yo cousin’s shawty, Khalifa? The one that got shot?”

Father: “Nah, wassa name… uh, uh, uh, Princess Di?”

Mother: “What?! Where the fuck that come from? Shonay be a crazy-ass cuz a you, n—a!”